Japanese closed captions would get us more than halfway there. Listening comprehension is very difficult even for those of us who have studied the language, and doubly so when we're trying to comprehend a bunch of excited girls shouting over each other. But any mook can run text through an automatic translator and get at least the basic idea. Get several such mooks working together and they could bang out a passable translation.
(Yes, I speak from experience. I was briefly a member of the MM-BBS subbing crew.)